Protip: If a small child is nearby, show them this picture.*
–beautifulthorns (who is really Jacob, by the way. We all know his name. What's the deal with this beautifulthorns kid? Is it his alterego?) [Jacob is playing Magic: The Gathering] [Jacob is playing Magic: The Gathering online]
[Jacob is reading articles about Magic: The Gathering]
[Sorry, it's really addictive]
Fine, I'll write more words It was, like, April Fools' Day or something, right? That's permission to have short posts.
Our next section will be "Ouphes in Pop Culture." This actually just means a comprehensive list of all***** Ouphes in Magic: The Gathering, because that's the pop culture of ouphes. (They need more pop culture references. That's why I'm writing this post, by god. Because think of the ouphes!) I gave each ouphe a nickname.
Aerie Ouphes: The Long-Nosed Ouphes
Brown Ouphe: The Ouphe Toddler
Dusk Urchins: The Black Ouphe
Fyndhorn Brownie: The Tasty Ouphe
Ooh, tangent time. Here is the flavor text on Fyndhorn Brownie:
"I've been insulted by drunks in a hundred inns, but never as skillfully or annoyingly as by those blasted brownies."
—General Jarkeld, the Arctic Fox
Brownies are sche ming, horrible beings. Our worst fears have come to fruition.
Gilder Bairn: The Cute Ouphe
Kitchen Finks: The Ouphe of Tournaments
Niall Silvain: The Legendary Ouphe (and also maybe the creepiest; see below)
Originally aired April 03, 2019
*I'm not responsible for any emotions they may experience. Or emotions you experience, for that matter. Don't sue me! Also, yes, protip is one word. **Art by Scott Altmann for Wizards of the Coast. ***In some contexts they're the same, but I'm including both for completeness. ****They're snazzy berries, OK? *****Excluding creatures with changeling, Mistform Ultimus, and Dr. Julius Jumblemorph.