It's WIP Week on Chromatic Conflux! I searched through my metaphorical blog post vault and found seven projects that I'm proud of — but may never "finish." So I thought, why not just publish them? Yesterday's post was "the vanity project."
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"what's the whale in your lives?" asks the teacher of my moby-dick class. we suggest answers, assuming it's an open-ended discussion question.
she continues, "the answer is college."
~
These days I'm thinking that college is maybe not a whale but an elephant, for two reasons:
For years, college was the elephant in the room: that thing everyone asked about.
It's the parable of the blind men and the elephant: there are so many angles from which to approach it; so many styles in which to write about it. Which is the right one? Also, I worry that whatever I write won't properly convey my thoughts.
(I was trying to think of some other elephantine analogies of the college process, but they're not as good. I don't think it's especially Republican-coded...)
The whale anecdote was the beginning of a long, flowery reflection I started writing a few months ago about my college application experience. (It's titled "sadly, college apps: reflections on a cruel rite of passage which made a special snowflake wilt. even though he won.") I've been wanting to publish something about college applications for a long time — forcing myself to do this was a secret motivation of WIP Week.
But I've decided to publish a lighter version today, an FAQ. Why? To me, it feels fresher, friendlier, funnier. Whales are mysterious. Elephants are accessible. I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
I've organized the FAQ into categories. Feel free to jump around!
(I) My College Plans
So where are you going to college?
I'm very fortunate to say that I'm going to Stanford!
Congratulations! What are you going to be studying?
Thanks! It's funny you ask that, because I've been trying my hardest to evade this question. Stanford doesn't require you to take the major that you applied for, and I'm really hoping to use college as an opportunity to explore, and not prime myself too much by answering these questions with a definitive answer.
But what are you considering?
Fine... I applied for Symbolic Systems (which is a cool-sounding interdisciplinary major fusing CS, linguistics, neuropsychology, and more — it's becoming trendy because "AI," but I just find this particular combination interesting). I also have a general interest in social science, which I wasn't really able to fulfill in high school; right now I'm intrigued by public policy, political science, and urban studies. Math has always been my beloved, and Stanford is famous for having a CS program that other majors transfer into. So probably something in one of those realms, but I don't want to tie myself down. SymSys will likely be my default.
Have you registered for classes yet?
Nope! I haven't talked to my academic advisor yet, and this all happens later. But I think they released the options a few days ago, so I should probably do some more research into what seems logical.
Do you know your roommates / living situation yet?
Nope! I filled out a long form describing my roommate preferences on a variety of axes, including some written questions. It felt a bit like a dating profile. My understanding is that Stanford spends the summer trying to match people really well, and then doesn't release rooming arrangements until school starts. This is fine by me! From what I've heard, if you tell the truth on the form, you tend to get a good match.
When does Stanford start?
It's on the quarter system, so pretty late: September 17. I'm going on a pre-orientation camping trip the week before, which should be fun!
What do you want out of college?
I want to fall in love.
Genuinely? Romantically? That's not what I expected you to say.
Sure!
I didn't really date in high school, because there was never anyone sufficiently compatible that it made sense for me to date them. College might be my best opportunity for this, and I intend to pursue it.
But I also want to fall in love in other ways. In particular, I want to fall in love with a career, to find something to do with my life that feels genuinely fulfilling. I have this problem where, if I take something I've enjoyed doing, and imagine it as a career, it feels depressing.
So I hope I fall in love. (Time to optimize micromarriages...and microdreamjobs...?)
Finally, what's the funniest approaching-Stanford thing you did this summer?
I took the French language placement test despite not speaking any French!
Why??
Partially to get myself in the mood for the Spanish placement test (on which I have a real shot), but also because it sounded like a fun challenge. (And I wasn't wasting much of the French department's time.) I have a background learning Spanish and Latin (and Toki Pona, but that's sadly not an approved language), as well as linguistics. The test had a lot of different parts, including multiple choice, listening comprehension, reading comprehension, writing a letter to my Swiss friend Pierre, and an oral exam — and importantly, it had many samples of grammatical French sentences. So I could do some reverse-engineering of valid French, like a NACLO linguistics puzzle. (And I didn't know zero French; I've been exposed to some in the world, and I did like two levels of Duolingo once, enough to translate "the croissant is a boy.") I felt like I did respectably — maybe enough to place out of one quarter.
So did you?
No. FRENLANG 1A. But it was a fun way to learn some French! Bonsoir, français...
(II) Pre-Application Mindset
What was your secret for getting into Stanford?
Stanford was my only college decision I opened while holding my friend Andrew's hand. His parents are Stanford professors, you know, so I think that caused the stars to align.
Oh, please. My 9-year-old child has wanted to go to Stanford ever since the age of 1, when he touched the California grass of the Oval and all his tears disappeared and were replaced with gold. How should he structure his entire life to achieve this one, singular, all-important goal?
Have you been saving the gold? You could buy a new wing of Stanford campus...
I actually do get less extreme versions of this question, and they're understandable ... but my opinion is: if you're not in high school, I'm very skeptical that you should be making any decisions with a college in mind. The process is so unpredictable, you don't have much information or control yet, and it doesn't even optimize for what colleges want.
But what should my child do with their life?
There's actually a fantastic MIT Admissions article called "Applying Sideways" on this subject. It's not too long, and worth reading in its entirety.
I refuse to read even short things unless they're written by you. Can you summarize it for me?
Aww, thank you! Well, the bottom line is that there's no one thing that will get you into a place like MIT (or Stanford). They rejected a student who created a nuclear reactor in his garage. What you should do instead: do well in school, be nice (slash positively contribute to your community), and pursue your passions.
When you do this, you apply sideways: instead of overfitting to particular requirements you read online, you transform yourself into an awesome person — the kind of person that top colleges want. And then even if a particular school still rejects you, at least you did your best to be awesome and do awesome things!
So there's nothing I should do to prepare for college apps?
Well, not quite. I think different advice is appropriate for different people. For me, well, maybe I could've cared a little more about college in the few years prior?
One thing to keep in mind is that many colleges have "shadowrequirements" in coursework, which you don't need to have but they'll look askance at you if they don't. Things like three years of history, three years of science, etc. Overall, I think balance is a good goal. High school is real life; so is college.
Is it selfish to try your hardest on a college application?
No one has ever asked me this, but I asked myself this a lot, so I want to address it.
The college app process felt to me like advertising myself to colleges. But colleges have something like a finite number of slots. So if I get into a certain college, I might be taking that slot away from someone else more deserving.
It's true: your goal isn't to "win." You're not trying to get into every college!
Rather, your goal is to give the admissions offices the tools to figure out whether you'll be a good fit.
And everyone tries really hard. Everyone tries to make their accomplishments sound like the most impressive versions of themselves, and wordsmiths their essays, etc., so I think it's fair to do all those things.
It's difficult to give this feedback in general. Some people are naturally inclined to work the process — to lie, or mislead, or exaggerate, to get an advantage. If this sounds like you, then think twice; consider the people you could be replacing. But many people are inclined to be overly humble. If this is you, think about the people who puff up their applications. In my professional opinion as a forecaster, since you're reading this post, there's a good chance you're underestimating the reasons colleges should want you.
You say that "everyone tries really hard." What if I'm not in the hyper-college-driven cultural environment that you seem to be in? What if I don't have as many resources?
Sorry. A lot of my advice in this post is based on my personal experience, which has been very privileged. I can't claim that it's generalizable.
What I will say is: if you don't have as many resources, colleges want to hear this. Note also that prestigious, well-endowed colleges often give very generous financial aid packages: for many applicants, Stanford is cheaper than a state school.
(III) Choosing a College List
How many colleges did you apply to?
Twenty (including seven UCs, which all had one application).
But aren't you only going to one college? Twenty is so many more than one.
Many of my friends applied to more...
The phenomenon of applying to a gazillion colleges seemed so baffling to me when I began the college process, but the unpredictability of admissions — plus convenience of applying to many (via tools like the Common App and UC app) — as well as ability to cross-reference offers from different schools makes this a reasonable strategy. Unfortunately.
How did you decide which colleges to apply to?
I never quite figured out a good process; my list was an ad-hoc combination of other people's lists, online rankings, places my friends attended ... and it was changing up until the last moment.
How can I determine my probability of acceptance at a college?
Exact probabilities are hard to get. You don't have to worry too much about the exact numbers, but I was always annoyed because no one would tell me them.
Some things you can try, if you, like me, thirst for probabilities instead of trying to guess what is a "safety" or "target" or "reach" or whatever:
There's a website called CollegeVine where you can input your information and get a probability of acceptance. As long as you take them with a grain of salt, knowing they don't account for all the information, they can be helpful.
If you want actual human forecasters, you could make a public Manifold market... It can feel scary though, and I never made one. You could make a pseudonymous account just for this purpose if you wanted. Your probability will be useful in proportion to the amount of information you reveal.
There's a subreddit called r/ChanceMe. Never tried it but you can...
Are college tours worth it?
Depends if they sound fun to you. I toured twelve colleges, and it felt like too many, but they also weren't that fun. A lot of the colleges started to blend together, and the tour guides often gave information that was also available on the college websites. But it's probably worth seeing a few colleges of different sizes!
Any fun facts you learned on college tours?
Harvard has this statue that says JOHN HARVARD • FOUNDER • 1638, but it turns out that this contains three lies:
the university was founded in 1636,
John Harvard didn't found the university (he just gave a large amount of money), and
the statue isn't of John Harvard! It was erected in 1884, when no one knew what he looked like, so they just kind of guessed.
There's a superstition where you're supposed to rub his toe for luck. I didn't take part, and in general, I tried to do the opposite of whatever all the superstitions advocated. I stepped on a seal at UC Berkeley, which allegedly means I wouldn't have graduated if I'd gone.
What's better than college tours?
Talking to people who go to the college! If you know people who go to a specific college that you're considering, I got a lot out of asking people questions about their experience and whether they recommend the university to you.
Admit Weekends, which are like tours but come after you've been accepted to a college, are also pretty worthwhile. The college tends to treat you better, and you get to meet your potential classmates — which is extremely important to a good school experience.
Applying early: overrated or underrated?
Depends on your cultural milieu. If you don't know it's an option, it's probably underrated; forcing yourself to get some applications out into the world can be a good forcing factor. It can also be nice psychologically to get decisions back earlier. Personally, in my milieu, I think it's a bit overrated. If you submit an early app on November 1st, you'll often get decisions in mid-December, or even later. If your regular-decision apps are due in early January, you should probably be working on them before the early decisions come out.
Make sure to distinguish Early Action from Early Decision; the latter is binding, but is more likely to increase your chances. EA doesn't have much of an impact on your chances, generally. I was planning to EA to one of my top schools (maybe Stanford) up until weeks before the deadline, but I decided to apply Regular Decision instead. My reasoning: I thought my application being better would outweigh any potential gains from EAing. Also, college decision season is a few months; college is four years. I think this was definitely the right calculation for me, and I might not have gotten into Stanford had I EAed with the application essays that I had at the time.
How do I escape the horrible holistic rat-race of American college applications?
It's worth looking into non-American universities! I never really considered them that strongly, but their admissions processes can often be more straightforward and objective.
There are also plenty of less competitive schools that can be great fits for people! For me, the vibe I wanted in a college aligned tragically well with schools that are really hard and stressful to apply to — so I did college applications on hard mode — but you need not play on hard mode.
Finally, if you're looking for the learning, you can get that without the gazillion dollars; in many cases it's possible to attend lectures without being enrolled as a student...
Any other specific schools that you, Jacob, are emotionally attached to?
Different people are different, so take this all with a grain of salt. But besides Stanford, I have a particular soft spot for two programs I applied to:
The CCS program at UC Santa Barbara, which I nearly attended. CCS is short for "College of Creative Studies," but it's kind of misnamed, because among its nine majors are Math and Computing (along with Writing and Marine Science). It's designed for students with strong intrinsic passion, the classes are small (except classes with UCSB, which you are allowed to take and actually have priority registration on), there's randomly a piano in almost every classroom, the tight nerdy community has great vibes (my friends who go there love it), and the applications are read by professors (instead of admissions people). It's not for everyone, but if that description resonated with you, checking it out seems worth your while.
Reed College, in Portland, Oregon. I admit I applied to Reed on a whim, because they have no application fee and their essays were short. But after they accepted me, they were super friendly! They even gave me a free copy of Invisible Man (which I appreciated reading!) plus this great pencil that says "ALWAYS SHARP, NEVER DULL." I know I shouldn't recommend colleges just based on the quality of their swag, but nevertheless I love Reed College. Expensive tuition though.
I want to go to Cornell, the Ivy League institution in Ithaca, New York, following in the footsteps of Andy Bernard from The Office. I should apply to Cornell College, right?
NOOOO! Cornell College is a liberal arts college in Iowa, which gets much of its enrollment from students who think they are applying to Cornell University but get confused.
Double check, also, that you apply to the intended Cal Poly or the intended Pomona, and that you are aware that Miami University is located in Oxford, Ohio, USA!
(IV) Dealing with Decisions
What were your first words when you got into Stanford?
"Gee, I'm a tree!"
For real? I thought that was Euclid, when he turned into a tree.
No, I lied, oops. I came up with that line a few hours later, upon realizing that I'd be a Stanford tree.
Is that supposed to be funny?
I guess it's funnier if you were in my Complex Analysis class, but nevermind.
But seriously, what was your reaction when you got into Stanford?
Immediate gratitude and happiness! Stanford's decision was my last one, and I knew that if I got in, I'd almost certainly go (so I never had a stressful decision, which was nice). I also thought at that point that there was only like a 30% chance I'd get in.
So you're sticking close to home?
It's actually a hilarious coincidence; I applied to colleges all over the country. Frankly, I'd rather live someplace that feels just a little more different, but Stanford is Stanford...
If you hadn't gotten into Stanford, where would you have gone?
If I hadn't gotten in, I had a really tough decision between UC Berkeley and UCSB's CCS program, two great colleges with very different strengths and weaknesses, and I had no idea how I would make it. (I was very relieved when I got into Stanford because I knew I didn't have to make it. I still go back and forth in my mind about CCS vs. Berkeley.)
So you didn't get into MIT?
I was waitlisted ... my consolation is that it's actually rarer than being accepted.
What do you recommend to reduce stress over opening college decisions?
It depends on the person. For me, I tried not to learn which dates the decisions were coming out on, so as to not prolong my stress. On MIT Day, I was lucky enough to take a four-hour linguistics competition called the NACLO Invitational. Nothing like intensive competitions to take your mind off looming college decisions!
I think it can also help to think more altruistically. The college admissions officers have more information than you. In theory, if they don't pick you, that means they thought someone else would be a better fit and get more out of the college program, and you can be happy for that person!
Finally, remember the immortal words of Alex Cao, which can be generalized to any college: "MIT can reject you, but they can't reject you from success."
(V) Writing Essays and Managing Existential Crises
What advice do you have about writing college app essays?
Before I answer, why don't you read the answers to the next few questions first.
Let's go back in time. Which Taylor Swift lyric most accurately described your emotional state during college apps?
"Gray November, I've been down since July." It's quite a coincidence that the months are exactly right!
What was your college application soundtrack?
It should be captured in this Spotify playlist I made called "college app crush," which is a play on words, because college applications were crushing me. Instances of "you" in any of the songs should be treated as a description of the college. Many of the songs are sort of depressing.
So you didn't enjoy the process?
I was miserable. Filled with hatred at what I saw as the "college application industrial complex." Furious that it takes the country's most ambitious high school seniors and forces them to waste months of their lives doing something that doesn't contribute to the world at all, where they have to stare at their computer screens and advertise themselves to a committee that might skim their application in five minutes. I had an incredibly negative attitude, and it was pretty detrimental.
Were you nice to people, at least?
Not really. I took out a lot of my anger on people helping me. I was mean to my friends sometimes, especially when they had their act together more than me, or when they had an overly positive attitude. I was also mean to my parents, who were doing their best to help, who spent so much time helping me research and taking me on visits and providing input on essays. They kept wanting to know what they could do to get me out of my writer's block and I couldn't figure out what to tell them, I just wanted them to leave, and I projected my anger about my own unproductivity onto them. I'm really sorry to my parents and everyone who I was unkind to.
Did you have your act together, at least?
Not really. I was going to have it all done during the summer, you know! I'd seen college apps steamroll other people, but it would never steamroll me.
Then something unfortunate happened. I failed at self-enforced deadline after self-enforced deadline. I even made Manifold markets about my deadlines and still failed them, although usually that was one of the few things that helped me make progress. I turned in almost every application with mere days to spare. Ultimately I was fairly satisfied with the final product, but I hated my process.
I get it. I shouldn't just try to copy you because you had a bad time, even though you had an impressive-sounding result.
Correct. You really should not have my attitude toward college apps! I swear.
So what advice do you have about writing college app essays?
Oh, I don't know. My writing process is weird and hard to generalize from. When I read this two-paragraph essay called "Writing, Briefly" by programmer-essayist-entrepreneur Paul Graham, though, a lot of it resonated with me, so read that. It's about writing in general, but it applies to college essays.
I refuse to read even short things unless they're written by you. Can you summarize it for me?
Aww, thank you! Here are ten of Graham's tips that especially resonated with me:
write a bad version 1 as fast as you can
write in a conversational tone
if you can't get started, tell someone what you plan to write about, then write down what you said
mull ideas over for a few days before writing
start writing when you think of the first sentence
write about stuff you like
try to tell the reader something new and useful
when you restart, begin by rereading what you have so far
print out drafts instead of just looking at them on the screen
write for a reader who won't read the essay as carefully as you do, just as pop songs are designed to sound ok on crappy car radios
Do these apply to UC Personal Insight Questions?
Not as much; they're more about personal essays and supplementals. PIQs aren't supposed to be "good writing," they're supposed to convey facts very efficiently. But I think there's still some room to write in a conversational tone.
Can I read one of your PIQs?
Sure, here's one:
Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
Response: I’ve found being a math camp counselor incredibly rewarding, chatting with kids during lunch about base 6, running the activity “Jacob Lies to Campers,” taking initiative to propose curricular or logistical improvements, and much more.
I believe enthusiasm is contagious. When I was younger, I always loved the mentors who were passionate, authentic, empathetic, visibly caring. I feel an intrinsic responsibility to embody these virtues, to create a fun environment where kids are motivated to engage academically.
Now, as a member of Proof School’s selective student teaching program, I co-teach our sixth-grade computer science class. My student-teaching performance rating is “Significantly exceeds expectations.” However, my motivation comes from within.
I always stay attentive to the class’s mood and needs, and take initiative to plan activities accordingly. I ran a short pi-estimation demo to break up a whole-class work period. I pitched and created a handout covering arrays earlier than last year’s iteration of the class. In my handouts, I reference class inside jokes (like our stuffed animals) and write problems that feel like puzzles (e.g., creating code that prints itself). This element of fun continually makes students more engaged.
When grading work, I put myself in the student’s shoes, prioritizing useful guidance that still doesn’t give things away. The teacher calls my feedback “impressively thorough.”
One weekend, after realizing that I often gave students similar feedback when debugging code in class, I took it upon myself to create a color-coded flowchart of what to do when stuck. After small revisions from the teacher, we gave it to the students. We both noticed an immediate, tangible shift in the classroom atmosphere: students gained more self-sufficiency to catch bugs themselves, and engaged more with the essential computer science. My flowchart will also serve as a resource for future iterations of the class, magnifying its impact across time.
In my student-teaching role, I continually seek ways to improve the community atmosphere, attuned to my direct effect on the academic lives and trajectories of my many students. I’m thrilled that I found such an opportunity, and will seek out more at UC and beyond!
Can I read more of your essays? See your exact college list and results?
Hmm, maybe. My main worry isn't actually privacy; it's that you might fixate too much on the special case of me, when I'm not really very representative. But I'll think about it.
What was your personal essay about, at least?
Guess.
Puzzles?
Yeah.
So why did it take so long to write?
I thought this was okay but a little redundant with my activities list, and what did I really have to say, and also I didn't want to be typecast as The Puzzle Guy ... I wanted to show that I was multidimensional, and write a personal essay that was artistic and interesting and meta.
So why didn't you write a personal essay that was artistic and interesting and meta?
It's really hard to write those.
I kept writing different versions of them, and people kept telling me that they didn't really work; they didn't project the right image. Here was the beginning of one of my later "meta" drafts:
Dearest admissions officers:
We exist in a fundamental asymmetry. You, surrounded by a personal essay plethora, forced to allocate maybe minutes to each. Finding fakers, raising red flags, identifying ideal fits. It sounds thankless. So: thanks!
And me, submitting only one. So I commit countless hours: thinking, freewriting, rewriting, restarting. In Docs, Notes, felt-tip pen, whiteboard scrawlings. In parks, libraries, coffeeshops, trains. In my brain, halfway insane.
I agonize for authenticity, emphasize empathy, create compulsively across communities and categories. But among all my cross-sections, which one will win your heart?
In addition to any gaucheness in this particular draft ... eventually I realized that there were supplemental essays, and that your personal essay doesn't have to compress your entire existence into 650 words, and that I should just write the essay about puzzles that I know I can write, and so I — eventually — did.
What got you out of your summer downward spiral?
In...April 2023, back when my plan was to finish it all during the summer, I schedule-sent an email for August 1st to two senior friends, Josh and Kailey, titled something like "full draft of my personal essay." Come August 1st, my personal essay wasn't done, all I had were these scattered fragments, so I was embarrassed. There were some technical issues with sharing the document, and they asked to see the document, but I delayed for a few days. At first I thought it'd be a motivator to work, but it wasn't.
But when Josh and Kailey saw my progress, their feedback totally reinvigorated me. They pointed out some things that worked, that I should highlight. Kailey wrote me a document called "kailey misc thoughts I guess" which was unexpectedly valuable. It referred to me as a "walking party trick" (one of my favorite ways anyone has described me), and gave me lots of material to work with.
The moral of the story: don't resist feedback too much. If you're reading this, you're probably awesome in some way. Colleges should want you! Friends can remind you why you're awesome, and then you can just relay that information to colleges.
(VI) This FAQ
What if I have another question?
You can ask me! I might expand this FAQ. It is WIP Week, after all, and this FAQ was largely pieced together today. I have plenty more to say.
Why haven't you said it already?
I hate the college application process, and also writing.
Then why do you want to say more?
I hate the college application process with a righteous indignant fury that makes me want to do something about it. And I hate not writing, I hate having words inside me that haven't gotten out.
In sadly, college apps: reflections on a cruel rite of passage which made a special snowflake wilt. even though he won at the end of the long "part zero: disclaimers," I said this:
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i'm writing this post for three reasons
so many of the college resources i came across felt soulless and made the process feel depressing. and somehow, against all odds, i've developed this folksy persona where i do a radical thing of trying to write in a comprehensible fun straight-talking yet nerd-chic way. and sometimes i read posts with titles like "College advice for people who are exactly like me" and i find them helpful. so if you feel down on the other resources, maybe my college application experience really will be applicable to you, as is!
i was thinking about my friends, who presumably are also being asked for college app advice, and how they’re also pretty unrepresentative people. if everyone's unrepresentative, maybe it really is important to provide a lot of perspectives, and mine might be a good addition to the discourse
bayesian asian once tweeted that there are two things that are very consequential and high-skill but that the average person only does once: wedding planning and college apps. during the college app process, i was obsessed with writing a personal essay about the process of writing a personal essay. i also had a lot of writer's block, and to overcome it i tried freewriting. so i have all this text and all these thoughts about college applications and nothing to do with them. i have a hatred for college discourse but my thoughts have been SCREAMING TO GET OUT
sadly, college apps: reflections on a cruel rite of passage which made a special snowflake wilt. even though he won sounds fun. Can I read it?
Hmm. I'm not quite ready to publish the full thing yet, but maybe in the future. If you know me personally, feel free to ask for my draft.
So what are you going to do about the process? Is your solution just writing?
Not just that. I have been working on other resources for college applicants! But I might need your help. I will discuss my efforts tomorrow!
Teaser for Tomorrow
The grand finale of WIP Week: the College App App. Or maybe some spreadsheets or whatever.
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