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That's Impossible

Happy Wednesday; this post details something I am extremely passionate about. In fact, in the conclusive "What Jacob is Passionate About" ranking, it ranks above Pete Buttigieg but below Aubrey. It's the Impossible Burger.* I did a project at my school about it, so this post will be somewhat of a conversion of that into blog format.


The Important Part

Go try the Impossible Burger! Our love of meat** is having a big impact on the environment as well as on the condition of animals, and I think this is a great solution for omnivores, carnivores, and herbivores alike. It's available at many restaurants, such as Gott's Roadside, Umami Burger, Wahlburger, the Counter, and some locations of Burger King. (Or at least, so they say.)


My Vegetarianism Story

I went through a big animal-rights phase in third (maybe fourth) grade. After rationing meat (I allowed myself two servings per week) for a while, I eventually made the full conversion at the beginning of that summer. I've now been vegetarian for four (maybe five) years. I'm not the strictest vegetarian, but I definitely eat a meat-light diet. I also did the seven-day vegan challenge once.***


Anyway, I've loved the taste of meat the whole time, and I was having constant arguments with myself over breaking vegetarianism for this fish sushi, or this piece of steak, or whatever. So that's the background you need to know for this story.


The Impossible Burger Will Save the World: Part 1

I was in New York visiting family. We were in the car on a late-night trip to another family member's house to sleep. My mom was reading an article on her phone about the Impossible Burger, a new veggie burger being developed to taste exactly like meat. I legitimately started crying in happiness. I saw the future in the Impossible Burger. After all, if meat was so damaging–from an animal-rights and a sustainability perspective–and this could provide the meat experience, we could make the world a much better place. I believe the creation of the Impossible Burger was an extremely honorable and heroic deed that we have Pat Brown to thank for.****


I have tried the Impossible Burger. While I cannot distinguish it from meat, it's true that some people can. But regardless, it is agreed that it tastes very similar. I believe the world would be much better if meat burgers were replaced by the Impossible.


To further analyze this issue, we have to look at the two types of veggie burgers.


The Two Types of Veggie Burgers

The two types of veggie burgers are Imitation Meat and Veggie Forward (a term from this article.) I'll go in depth on each.


The Impossible Burger, an example of Imitation Meat.

Imitation Meat

Imitation Meat burgers strive to taste as close to meat as possible. The goal is to make them essentially indistinguishable from it. Some Imitation Meat burgers do a fantastic job, such as the Impossible Burger. Some are more lacking. If you're a carnivore who scorns veggie burgers for tasting horrible, this is probably the type of burger you're scorning.


However, all Imitation Meat burgers have some sort of shortcoming. You may (or may not) be wondering what the Impossible Burger's shortcoming is, since I seem to basically worship it. I'll get back to it later.


A Veggie Forward burger, listed as a "Sprouted Mung Bean burger."

Veggie Forward

Veggie Forward burgers embrace the fact that they don't have access to meat and try to make the vegetables stand out. For example, the person who wrote the recipe of the burger in the photo above states that she has a "sprout obsession which kicks into high gear every summer," which makes me judge this person. But the point is, the sprouts weren't supposed to taste like beef, they were supposed to taste like sprouts. And if you have a sprout obsession, that's perfect for you.


I should mention that Veggie Forward burgers aren't necessarily disgusting or weird. The Counter makes a delicious Veggie Forward burger. All a Veggie Forward burger has to be is a veggie burger that does not strive to mimic meat.


The Uncanny Valley

There's a principle called the Uncanny Valley, in animated films and robotics. The executive summary is that it's kind of creepy if robots or animated characters look very close to humans, but aren't humans.


The Uncanny Valley

In some ways, this is the problem with the Impossible Burger as well. Especially for longtime vegetarians, I'm told it can be jarring to eat something so close to meat without actually being meat.


The Impossible Burger Will Save the World: Part 2

Fortunately, the Impossible Burger is making a lot of progress in the world. In fact, there's so much demand right now that the Impossible Burger has a fake meat shortage. I think that that's a good sign overall, and highly recommend you taste the Impossible Burger.


Thanks for reading what I wrote. And thanks for eating what I advertised for.

–beautifulthorns


*By the way, other brands, such as the Beyond Burger, are also tasty, but I believe the Impossible Burger is the tastiest. Most of what I will say this post is applicable to the Beyond Burger and others in addition to the Impossible Burger.


**This is a fantastic video, by Kurzgesagt, that I would recommend about the impacts of meat.


***This paragraph is, in fact, copy-pasted from "Vegetarianism," because I couldn't do a better job of describing it today. That post makes good reading if you enjoy this post as well, but it's not a prerequisite or anything.


****Sidenote on the Impossible Burger. In The Wizard and the Prophet by Charles C. Mann, which I haven't read but heard about in the Freakonomics podcast on the Impossible Burger (which I highly recommend), there's an idea that there are two essential ways to solve a problem: the wizard and the prophet. The wizard wants to invent new technology to solve problems, where as the prophet wants to return to nature to solve them. The Impossible Burger is a perfect conflux, if you will, between the wizard and the prophet: it's modifying the burger to be plant-based. Or, in Magic: The Gathering terms, this is so Simic it's ridiculous.

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